Throughout great hardship rest assured the hearts of all altruist are united by an indomitable will to mend what is broken.
Now that’s how you stuff an Easter basket!
Side Note: Word to the wise, insert that carrot in the wrong orifice and it’s going to resemble a partially melted Cadbury Crème Egg.
If Pornstar Workout was a part of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign 80% of men would have six pack abs.
Side Note: Me and Wreckx-n-Effect are now simpatico. Elegant Angel unites more perverts than Chatroulette.
The paparazzi have never been safer.
Side Note: Cameras seem to inspire so much hate. Trading my life savings for Instagram stock was a bigger mistake than the Colin Farrel Total Recall.
Recently Bill Gates threw down the gauntlet asking inventors to come up with a Next Generation Condom. A condom that significantly preserves or enhances pleasure, in order to improve uptake and regular use.
J&D’s picked that gauntlet up. GAME ON, BILLY BOY!
Side Note: Charles Dance hasn’t aged much in 27 years, maybe he’s a vampire…
Let this dispel the myth that all clowns wear make-up.
Side Note: I don’t give a care what that nigga awkwardly struts next to. Drake is forever Wheelchair Jimmy.
Testing a bulletproof vest calls for 3 things
- bulletproof vest
- live ammunition
- a test dummy (jorts optional)
Side Note: I don’t advocate stupidity or gun violence but… anyone else wish this video ended like the Zapruder film?
Only Mario could get away with questions like that.
Side Note: If JR spent less time on Twitter and more time practicing maybe the Knicks wouldn’t have got blown out by 34 on Wedenesday.
They both learned lessons that will last a lifetime.
Side Note: If that bunny licked the entire porcupine it would still be able to say “I’ve had less pricks in my mouth than Karrine Steffans.”
Harvey the Cockatiel chirping “First of the Year (Equinox).” Tweety Bird who?
Side Note: Someone get me five cockatiel’s and tell Skrillex “game on motherfucker!”
Kido the Cat beats the short-con like a bawse. I wonder if Kido can count cards…
![People have been playing with cellulose/plastic picks for so long, everything really sounds the same - it’s time for an evolution of sound. - Dustin and Stephanie
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Nashville artisans Dustin and Stephanie are here to help you rock like a young Scrooge McDuck. D&S have crafted guitar picks out of genuine US coins, meant to change the tone of a player’s performance. The picks come in a wide variety sure to satisfy the inner numismatist in you.
Side Note: This post inspired Two-Face to start a band.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/7e9263dab3863ec2f6f7ff897839cca7/tumblr_mgpyxtaxKz1qmxgnto1_500.png)
People have been playing with cellulose/plastic picks for so long, everything really sounds the same - it’s time for an evolution of sound. - Dustin and Stephanie
In one glorious play Ron Artest steals, dunks, misses, scores, and soaks some panties. Multitasking hasn’t looked this easy since Bert’s “One-Man-Band.”
Side Note: I just connected Ron Artest and Mary Poppins. There are no medals for creativity but I just made myself a gold one. Is there no end to my savant-like brilliance?
