So your gaming experience has been a lil’ mundane recently, you’ve gone limp where it counts, and you don’t know how to pull yourself out of this fucked up funk. Well you’re in luck my friends, Charles Lushear & The Bohemian Workbench have crafted 42 inches of hard wood into a fully functional Nintendo controller coffee table.
I know what you’re saying “sweet Sacagawea thats a big ass controller" and for $3,500 it can be all yours. Imagine being able roll your weed, snort you blow, and kick ass in Zelda all with the same item. If that table had a pussy there would be nerds of all ages flocking to hospitals worldwide with unexplained cock splinters.
Side Note: If my last name was “Lushear" I’d constantly be pouring wine into my ear and waiting for people to ask me why.