At last we’ve found the source of Rosie O’Donnell’s orgasms. I laugh heartily at those fools who said she couldn’t be stimulated by penetration!
Side Note: Taco Bell will have this on their menu by Friday.
Qualcomm CEO, Paul E. Jacobs, delivered a CES keynote address that makes Vince Offer (Slap Chop guy) look like Eric Holder.
Side Note: There hasn’t been a clusterfuck this monumental since FEMA in ‘05.
Tobacco Theatrics: Watch an unidentified man make smoking cigarettes look like an Olympic sport. The only thing that suffers more than his lungs is his toothbrush.
Side Note: I wonder if he farts secondhand smoke. Brings new meaning to the phrase “silent but deadly.”
…and to think that was supposed to be a tuba rehearsal.
Side Note: I haven’t seen that much exposed wood since that 200 man gang bang I went to last May. Mothers Day comes but once a year, and if my mom wants to cum when it does, I’m not going to stand in the way!
A tattoo to let everyone know you don’t fuck around in the McDonalds PlayPlace ball pit. #MoshOrDie
Side Note: The moment you realize fast food & rock music are corrupting more kids than Penn State’s Athletic Program & the Catholic Church combined.
While the Giants season may be over, Victor Cruz’s touchdown celebration lives on.
Side Note: Whoever said “sometimes you just got to choke a bitch” probably nodded in approval at this vid. Poor dog…
When someone ask for “head” find out what they’re going to do with it beforehand.
Side Note: About time the NFL had some competition in the concussion department.
Self-proclaimed “ex-gay pornstar,” Joseph Sciambra, wants everyone to know “The Devil LOVES anal sex”. I, for one, thought The Devil loved Prada, or at the very least wore it… Anne Hathaway movies have clearly mislead me.
Buck Naked Yoga, MEN ONLY.
Side Note: Something tells me you’ll leave covered in more than your own sweat…
Ice cream in Japan, more grandiose than the Her Magesty’s Diamond Jubilee Party.
Side Note: Eat your heart out Cold Stone Creamery.
A Long Day of Childhood calls for America’s Favorite Pasta sauce. So give ‘em Ragú.
If I walked in on my parents having sex and they tried to give me Ragú I’d want to know why was I being punished for their disregard of discretion.
Side Note: Ragú needs to cut the shit and just start calling their ‘sauce’ what it really is… Pasta Ketchup
Moe Lester died as he lived, inappropriately.
Comedic performance artist Steve Kardynal surprises a few unsuspecting Chatroulette users with a rendition of ‘Call Me Maybe’ so titillating it causes spontaneous masturbation… or vomiting, I confuse the two.
just woke up from a nap to see how much my new video has blown up! feels like i’m waking up on christmas morning.
— Steve Kardynal (@SteveKardynal) August 10, 2012
I know the 2012 MTV Movie Awards went badly but theres no reason Russell Brand should turn to prostitution.
Good luck trying to get that bear to make duck lips! (I don’t care what it does, it’ll always have a sub-par Facebook…)
Side Note: That bitch needs to have a ‘When Animals Attack!’ episode of her very own. Let bears line up and remind her nature ain’t a goddamn game.
