Testing a bulletproof vest calls for 3 things
- bulletproof vest
- live ammunition
- a test dummy (jorts optional)
Side Note: I don’t advocate stupidity or gun violence but… anyone else wish this video ended like the Zapruder film?
Harvey the Cockatiel chirping “First of the Year (Equinox).” Tweety Bird who?
Side Note: Someone get me five cockatiel’s and tell Skrillex “game on motherfucker!”
In one glorious play Ron Artest steals, dunks, misses, scores, and soaks some panties. Multitasking hasn’t looked this easy since Bert’s “One-Man-Band.”
Side Note: I just connected Ron Artest and Mary Poppins. There are no medals for creativity but I just made myself a gold one. Is there no end to my savant-like brilliance?
Unsuspecting mouse grabbed by hungry hawk. Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?
Side Note: I wrote a Stuart Little screenplay that ended exactly like this. Nature might soon find itself in a courtroom facing copyright infringement.
Does the USA suck at making foreign flags, or do we out define Merriam-Webster when it comes to the word “irony?”
Side Note: Show of hands; anyone else glad Macbook’s aren’t made in the USA?
At last we’ve found the source of Rosie O’Donnell’s orgasms. I laugh heartily at those fools who said she couldn’t be stimulated by penetration!
Side Note: Taco Bell will have this on their menu by Friday.
So I’ve let my crabs get a bit out of control. But look on the bright side, I’ve finally found a roommate. #Lemons2LemonMeringue
Side Note: They say “you are what you eat.” That kid must eat crab by the boatload.
Tobacco Theatrics: Watch an unidentified man make smoking cigarettes look like an Olympic sport. The only thing that suffers more than his lungs is his toothbrush.
Side Note: I wonder if he farts secondhand smoke. Brings new meaning to the phrase “silent but deadly.”
EpicMealTime puts their own spin on a NYC deli classic, The Reuben.
Bacon, onions, ground beef, Grill’ems jalapeno three cheese sausages, a hodgepodge of cured deli meats, swiss cheese, mounds of corned beef, sauerkraut, and russian dressing on freshly baked bread makes for one of the most impressive Reuben’s you will ever see.
EpicMealTime made this culinary concoction for “Shart Week”, I can only imagine they have in store for Day 5.
Side Note: If these jokers really wanted to shart they’d find a way to combine White Castle, Taco Bell, and an episode of MTV’s Teen Wolf
Dress up that’ll get you fucked up.
Side Note: I guess there’s no Jewish Defense League in Japan.
Moe Lester died as he lived, inappropriately.
The lovely Liz Tracy brings to us a woman who got her boyfriends name tattooed around her asshole at the South Florida Tattoo Expo 2012. Ive heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve but this broad just upped the game.
Side Note: In Florida a tattoo around the rectum is just as common as a handshake… or I’m a liar, either way its fine.
Looks can be deceiving
Witness polygots Moses McCormick & Benny Lewis shatter stereotypes and preconceived notions when this dynamic duo descends on a Columbus, Ohio mall surprising people with their insanely extensive knowledge of languages from around the world.
Side Note: Never judge a book by it’s cover; judge it by its preface and pretend like you’ve read the whole thing.
If this was a battle between man and beast, man would be disqualified for cheating.
Side Note: It disgust me to see animals exploited like this. If life was fair that guy would be forced to wear that lil’ silk outfit on Christopher St in the West Village, it’ll give him new perspective on the phrase “man-eater”
Ive heard people say “fake it till you make it” but this is ridiculous.
